The Five University Students You Don't Want to Be

Hello friends! First of all let me just say how beyond happy I am to find this blog has already reached over 1000 page views? I love writing here and I love that someone's reading! So whether this is your first time in this neighborhood of the internet or you've contributed a good percentage of that first thousand, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Pull up a bean bag chair or one of those cool trampoline seats from Target and make yourself at home. Anyway, since we've last talked (it's been a little bit of time), I've completed a week of spring semester classes, and so far they're all going well. Of course there are a few annoying people in every lecture, and this post goes out to them. Maybe they don't even know they're being so annoying, so maybe this will help educate and eradicate classroom nuisances. Take it from me, there are enough know-it-alls and biddies in the world without more innocent souls contributing. Without further adieu, I present the 5 University Students You Don't Want to Be:

1) The 20 Question Machine
Remember how fun 20 Questions was when you were younger? Well here's a strange plot-twist: it's not fun during syllabus week. Asking incredibly detailed questions about the final exam that is a good 15 weeks away does kill time, but it also makes me want to kill myself. If you're going to ask one or two questions about the syllabus, go right ahead, but once you cross over into the territory of three or more, you need to do some thinking to yourself. Ask silently does this question benefit at least half the class and do I need to know the answer right now? If the answer to either question is "no", save it for a later date or wait after class to ask the professor.

2) The Kiss-Up
Hey what lipstick shade are you wearing? It looks particularly nice on our professor's ass. Every class has this kid, the one who makes it his or her goal to win affection. Maybe batting your eyelashes wins you extra points in the third grade, but I guarantee it won't make your stickler professor go easy on the shitty essay you submit later in the semester. Plus, it's actually really creepy now that you're a consenting adult. Just don't do it. If you want your professors to like you, just be genuine. Introduce yourself, get help during office hours, get them to learn your name, and turn out quality work. That's how to get in your prof's good graces, not by complimenting their haircut every time class meets.

3) The Hermione Granger
Trust me, I love Hermione, she's such a good feminist role model and portrayed by Emma Watson beautifully, but you must admit she was a pretty annoying student. As a little girl, I would roll my eyes every time she was awarded "5 points for Gryffindor!" for robbing other students' opportunities to excel, and that attitude hasn't changed much. Even if you know the answer to every question or the Gen-Ed you're taking is in the same field as your major, limit yourself to a few contributions a day. Plus, many college courses rely on participation, so by robbing all those points, you may actually be sacrificing others' grades. Make sure you gauge the amount of raised hands before you blurt out answers, and if you're really passionate about what you're studying, you can always express this to your professor outside of class; they'll probably love the enthusiasm.

4) The Un-Appointed TA
It is a professor's job to critique students' work and make suggestions for improvement, not yours. There is nothing more simultaneously infuriating and embarrassing than getting called out on a careless mistake by a fellow classmate. I know it's tempting, I too feel an overwhelming desire to fix everything and everyone, but sometimes you just have to let go and allow for the learning process to take place without you. Sit on your hands if you must, and exert that extra energy into making your own work even better.

5) The Drunken Braggart
Repeat after me: We are in college. We've all been drunk. You are not special. Talking loudly so everyone can hear about how "crazy" or "insane" Friday was isn't a very novel story. It doesn't take any particular skill to get drunk, therefore rendering it unimpressive. Additionally, if you didn't party this weekend, no one cares. Just like we don't care about your party stories, we don't care about how you think partying is "gross" or "barbaric"; additionally your tired excuses for staying in are boring. If you go out, that's awesome, do that. If you don't go out, awesome, don't do that. Just don't think you deserve a gold star either way.

So apparently I was feeling really sassy today, sorry if I was a little brash or forthright. I just feel really strongly about these things. If you didn't already realize this, I tend to be more tightly-wound than the average young adult. Not apologizing for it, just pointing it out. I hope you're all having a good week, and here's to another 1000 page views!


  1. i'm looking into a new chair for my new dorm and, funny enough, i can't decide between a bean bag chair or a trampoline chair


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