Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Daddy Issues

It's one of those days where I'm listening to my "Best of Taylor Swift" playlist with the volume all the way up and blog about my feelings. I'm not too sure why I'm feeling so angsty, but something tells me it's because I've been watching so much Gossip Girl lately and therefore am channeling my inner Blair Waldorf. Anyway, without further adieu I thought I'd talk to y'all today about a very serious issue very close to my heart: Daddy Issues. Today I'm going to talk a little bit about why our society chooses to make fun of victimized women for their own selfish benefit and how the type of thinking seen in this meme below needs to stop:



While I'm not opposed to sharing details of my personal life on this blog, I don't quite feel comfortable telling whoever clicks onto my page the intimate details of my relationship with my own dad, but I will go ahead and say that it's...difficult. But even if it wasn't, I would still want to talk to you all about why it's so shitty to make fun of girls or making assumptions about their promiscuity based solely on their relationship with their biological father.

I firmly believe that if you stereotype a woman or make fun of her for having these so-called "Daddy Issues", you're no better than those despicable poor excuses for human beings that make fun of rape. In both of these scenarios, the victim in question has no control over the events that scarred them emotionally and as a result are affected for their rest of their lives...and you're really going to make fun of that?

For those of you that aren't familiar, "Daddy Issues" stems from the idea that a girl who--for whatever reason--didn't have a positive relationship with her father develops into a woman who is vulnerable and easy. TV shows and comedians have been using Daddy Issues as inspiration for jokes for decades, and for some sick reason audiences laugh, only perpetuating the stereotype. At face-value, I can maybe begin to see why some people find it funny, but let's unpack this joke a little bit: basically when you pass judgment about a woman who has these supposed Daddy Issues, you're taunting a very vulnerable part of her past. Essentially the joke is "HAHAHA your Dad wasn't emotionally (or tangibly) available to you when you were little, and because a father-daughter relationship is generally the primary way a girl learns to associate with men, your ability to do so as an adult isn't as comfortable and fluid as it is for your cohort!" Does anybody really want to turn around and tell me that's funny?

From a strictly objective perspective, we should all be able to acknowledge the importance of our parents' love and support, whether this is something readily available to us or not. When we're born, our parents nurture and raise us, and as a result the first adults we learn to associate with are our mom and dad--or the guardians that act on their behalf. It's no surprise that as we grow older we rely on the support given to us by our parents to seek out other relationships and utilize the tactics that worked before. So for those people that weren't given the appropriate space to grow and learn to communicate as a child, it's understandably difficult. It feels as though you're behind a dense learning curve that is almost impossible to catch up to.

I'm not too sure why this is on my mind today, but I sat through my French class this evening just grinding my teeth at the thought. As a young woman who has been told she has "Daddy Issues" I can tell you from a very personal level that it isn't funny, and if you've ever mocked a woman's relationship with her father I suggest you apologize as soon as you can.

But anyway, as is habit on this blog, I try to rotate serious topics with more lighthearted posts, so next time you hear from me hopefully I'll be a bit more chipper. I hope you're all having good weeks and you're enjoying the nice Spring weather. And for those of you experiencing less-than-stellar temperatures out there, I hope you can at least bundle up in your favorite sweater.

Talk soon!
Lauren

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