Sunday, May 25, 2014

Coming Home Without Smooth Transition

Good evening, everyone. I hope you're well. It's been a while since I've blogged, if we're addressing the elephant in the room. These past few weeks, I've been focusing more on wrapping up my freshman year of college (and all that entails), doing some writing for my eyes only, and mostly binge-watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. While that may not seem too incredibly stressful, believe it or not I've been feeling stretched pretty thin since we last spoke; I won't lie to you guys: many a frustrated tear has been shed under the darkness of my bedsheets. If you were concerned, I'm mostly fine, but just know that coming home from college is no easy feat...at least not for me.

While I know it can't be the complete truth, I can't help but feel like all my other friends from school seamlessly slipped back into their home lives; they immediately started hanging out with their huge group of friends from high school and getting their shit together. Meanwhile, I needed a few days to unpack and deal with the seemingly bleak summer that was stretching on for miles in my mind. I think because I'm so in love with where I go to school, I threw so much of myself into that environment and didn't really think about the reality of returning to my hometown until I was actually here. And in my defense I would have a better time adjusting if said hometown had to more to offer than strip malls and a Starbucks and/or Chipotle on every corner.

I think another reason I'm not completely "at home" yet is because everyone that permanently lives here doesn't really get why I'm struggling; I don't blame them for this but it doesn't exactly help, y'know? It's a complete 180 flip coming from a college town where I had a loud, ever-lively group of friends to a house whose only inhabitants are parents that expect me to observe a strict curfew. Yes, you heard me right. Less than a month ago I could've gone out at 3 AM on a Tuesday night for no reason...by comparison I just went out to my car to grab my phone charger and when I came back inside one minute later my mom demanded to know where I had been. Exaggerated sigh.

I promise I'll quit the whining, because this isn't exactly the most attractive way to make a return to the blog. So in an attempt to end this post on a happy note, I'll start wrapping this up. I hope this didn't come across as a privileged snobby white girl's rant, though I'm sure it might've.

To my friends from home that I can now see on a daily basis: I love you and I'm happy we get to hang out again, just know that I still need a little time to transition. To my friends from school: yo, I miss you. Yes you. I haven't heard from you in a while, so feel free to drop me a text or a tweet if you get a chance. You're the best and August can't come soon enough.

With that being said, I promise now that it's summer I'll be back soon. Yes actually soon this time.

x,
Lauren

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