Blogmas Day 11: Homesick

Hey guys! It's almost Friday thank God, which means I'm so close to being able to go home. I'm staying on campus until Saturday morning to close down the building after all the residents leave, and while it'll be nice to avoid traffic, the thought of staying that extra day is a little exasperating. To be totally honest, I have the option of leaving tomorrow night but by the time I'll be ready to go it'll be pretty late. I'm not looking to crash my car on the poorly-lit highway just to come home just before midnight. By leaving Saturday morning I'll be able to drive in the sunlight with Starbucks in my cup holder. But guys, I won't lie to you: I'm homesick.

I've been back on campus for less than two weeks so I really shouldn't be itching to go home that badly, but I am. As I mentioned yesterday, these days seem to be dragging by and all I want is to be with my parents and my dog. And to make matters worse, today when I was sitting in bed listening to my iTunes library on shuffle "Home" by Michael Buble came on. Guys, even if you don't miss home or if you're currently at home, I still think it's impossible to listen to that song without feeling homesick. Which is how I'm feeling now. I know I only have a day and a half to go (and I'm officially done with all the hard work I need to do this semester), so that helps to put things into perspective, but regardless...

I miss my house. I miss the throw pillows on the couches in the living room that my dog likes to lie on and the constant clutter on the kitchen counters. I miss the way it reeks of the butter pecan candle my mom bought that makes the entire first floor smell like maple syrup. That's saying a lot, because I genuinely hate the way that candle smells. It smells like home though.

I miss my bed. Whenever I come home from school, my mom likes to make it for me so I can snuggle in for a good first nights' sleep. This time of year she uses my pink thermal sheets because she knows I need to be as warm as possible all winter long. I miss the bright flower print of my comforter that has various nail polish, pen, and food stains dotted randomly on it from the years spent trying to multitask. It's much smaller than my bed at school--because at school I have two twin beds pushed together--and it's objectively not as comfortable as my bed at school, but I never sleep better than when I'm in it. It's home.

I miss my neighborhood. I miss the townhome complex I live in that reminds me of walking to and from elementary school. I miss taking my dog for walks down the sidewalk and admiring my neighbors' Christmas lights and front stoops. I used to hate engaging in forced small talk with the grownups next door, but it's strangely comforting to tell them all about how much I like school and hear about "how grown up" I am.

And obviously I miss my family and friends. I miss running errands with my mom on Saturday afternoons and eating fast food with high school friends because dollar menus best fit our budgets right now. I miss driving around with my stepdad and laughing at all the inappropriate jokes I won't publicly admit to thinking are funny. I love all the people I've met at JMU and the memories I've created in this college town, but I'm ready for a month off.

Realistically, when I come home I'll spend most of my time marathoning The Office and Gilmore Girls on Netflix, and halfway through break I'm sure I'll be dying to come back to school, but for now I'm lamenting in this feeling. I don't get homesick a lot--honestly it's a new feeling that I'm not super used to--so I'm trying to keep my mind off of it. It's hard though, knowing that I'll be on campus until Saturday morning with no more finals to distract me. Wow, listen to me: I'm actually complaining about being done with finals. I'm the worst. How do you people tolerate me?

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." -Maya Angelou

I'll see you tomorrow!


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