Showing posts from April, 2015

BEDA Day 30: Au Revoir

Happy Thursday, my loves! I hope you're all having good days. Can you believe it? We made it through April. Four months of 2015, gone. We're one-third done. Anyone else totally freaked out by that? Me too. But hey, SUMMER is nearly upon us, so it's all good.

BEDA has been good for me, guys. Posting (nearly) every day has helped to keep me accountable and on-track during this time of year, when I want to do nothing else but let my thoughts and my GPA wander. That's a big part of the reason why I chose to undertake BEDA: after successfully completing Blogmas during last semester's finals week, I remembered how accomplished I felt and how nice it was to have this blog as a daily creative outlet. And obviously I can blog any day of the year, but something about making it obligatory is really good for me as a writer.

John Green, author of Looking for Alaska, The Fault in Our Stars, and Paper Towns (coming soon to a theater near you!) said once in an interview that he de…

BEDA Day 29: Poetry

Hey guys. It's late, as usual, and I'm gonna keep this a little brief today. Because I don't want to bore you with the details of studying and finals, because I'm starting to realize I talk of little else, and honestly who cares? Instead I want to talk about my poetry class, which I was convinced I would hate, but ended up genuinely changing my life. It was the type of experience in which I learned just the right things at just the right time. I met people who told me exactly what I needed to hear. I learned how to express myself in new ways just when I needed to express myself most. Because my professor is likely leaving JMU after this semester, and some astounding people in my class are about to graduate, and if I had taken any other class or if I put off taking "ENG392: Intro to Poetry" for one more semester, my life would be entirely different. It's the type of cosmic thing that makes you think God definitely exists, how else can you explain this? 


BEDA Day 28: Mentally Vacationing

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Coming at you from, shocker, the library. I'm still studying for science, in preparation for my exam tomorrow. I studied with one of my classmates yesterday evening and I've gotten some help from my professor since we last spoke, so I'm feeling a little bit better about the material, but I definitely still need to go over things a few more times. That's the thing I hate about studying: I never know when I'm done, ya know? When it comes to things like writing essays, there's a very clear end point; there's a conclusion that you're working toward. With studying, I just don't know when I should stop without feeling guilty. I never feel confident about the material I've learned, especially in classes I don't naturally gravitate toward. I could have all the material memorized and mastered, but I would still feel unprepared. That's why a lot of times I just end up saying, "screw it. I think I know a thing or two, …

BEDA 27: I Wrote This In...Dunkin?

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you're all having good starts to the week. It's hard to believe that BEDA is almost over; I want April to last much longer, guys. That's probably because Finals Week officially kicks off on May 1st, which I'm dreading more than you know. The good news is the heavy lifting will be done a week from now. There's always enough coffee in the world and there's always enough time to get things done. Speaking of coffee though, I have a confession to make...

I love Dunkin Donuts. I love Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, I love Dunkin Donuts doughnuts (as the name suggests), I love the study environment...there's one thing I don't love, though. I don't love that I feel like a traitor. As I sit here, in Dunkin Donuts, I'm writing a post for a blog entitled "I Wrote This In Starbucks" on a laptop with a Starbucks sticker on it. I have my Starbucks Gold Card in my wallet and a bag of Starbucks coffee in my dorm room. I feel …

BEDA 26: The key is to do nothing

Hello friends! It's late on Sunday night and also my first opportunity to really sit down and chat with you guys. I've been busy pretty much all day, not really doing too much real work, but rather the exact opposite.

Roomie (y'all know this by now I'm sure, but on the off-chance you forgot: Ashley, my freshman year roommate, who I call Roomie pretty much exclusively) and I went on a road trip to meet her grandparents for lunch today, because apparently we've reached that point in our very committed relationship where we meet one another's extended families now. The whole point of the trip was for Roomie to pick up a laptop from her grandma, but I tagged along for the ride because I know how boring a two hour trip can be when you're alone, especially when you have to turn right back around again and go home again. We spent the entire time singing to music and having heart-to-heart convos, which was much needed after having kind of a rough few days. Plus we …

BEDA Day 25: Psycho Crazy Study Sesh

Hey friends! Right now, at 5:11 PM, is the first time in 6 hours that I've taken a break from doing schoolwork. I've been buried deep in science notes, trying desperately to teach myself about waves and matter and ionic bonds. The good news is I'm getting a lot of work done well in advance, which will bode well for Future Lauren, but the downside here is my Saturday has been spent in the library, which isn't exactly my idea of fun. Oh well; with hard work comes high reward. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. Plus knowing that next week is the absolute last time I'll have to deal with science in any academic capacity is quite the motivator. As of Monday, May 4th at 10:00 AM, I'll be forever freed of science classes. Never did I think I'd be so close to the promised land of exclusively creative credit hours, but we're here, guys. It's so close I can taste it.

But to get there, I've been pushing myself extra hard these past few days, an…

BEDA Day 24: Libraries, Squats, Faults, etc.

Happy Friday! I'm coming at you live from the library, where I've been since 9 AM, with the exception of a fifteen minute excursion to the dining hall to get some pizza, which I then brought back and ate while I copied down some geology notes. Other than a few distractions and self-sanctioned breaks, I've been working nonstop on geology. I have a lab exam on Monday, which basically means analyzing topographic maps and fossils--it's about as fun as it sounds.

But that's enough about geology for today. I'm using this blog post as an excuse to take a break from my studies, even though I'm going to a review session in less than an hour and will probably devote a large chuck of tomorrow going over the study guide I spent my afternoon making. No more talk about rock strata, I promise. Instead let's talk about voyeurism and the entitlement of the male gaze!! Fun, right?!

So yesterday around 9 PM I went to the gym, as I often do. I did my usual 45 minutes of ca…

BEDA Day 23: April Favorites

Hello, friends! I hope you're having a good day; I'm a little bit overwhelmed with schoolwork, so forgive me for posting a kind of fluffy, short blog post today. But basically, I'm doing a very beauty guru-eqsue blog post today: towards the end of every month, beauty gurus post videos talking about their favorite products they've been using recently. They're often good ways to find new things to try out, but because not many people read this, I can't imagine any of you will be hugely influenced by what I have to say. Whatever, man, indulge me.

Beauty Products
1) Benefit's "They're Real" mascara

I've had this mascara in my desk drawer for a while, but I finally broke it out this month once I realized I'd been using my old mascara for longer than can be deemed sanitary. I've used a sample size of this stuff before, which is why I was inclined to buy a full-sized tube from Sephora last time I did some damage on their website. And serio…

BEDA Day 22: Sleepy, Sleepy Earth Day

Happy Wednesday, everyone! As I'm writing this, I'm the most exhausted I can recall being in a very long time. Worst part is, pretty much all I did today--with the exception of class and gym--was sleep. I woke up early and went to my science lecture, then went straight to the gym for cardio, showered, and then napped on and off for hours on end. No joke, I was in bed probably from 10:30 until 3:00 pm. Not my finest hour...or I guess hours. And the worst part is I was going to spend my afternoon doing laundry, cleaning, scheduling meetings, get the point. I did none of that.

Then tonight I worked a lot, conducting meetings and programs. RA life man: sometimes it's a little bit tiring. The good news is, though, I always leave feeling fulfilled. Tonight, for example, I hosted a program where my residents could hang out and paint canvases together, and a lot of girls showed up and hung out. And while, yes, it was messy and time-consuming, it was really awesome t…

BEDA Day 21: Role Models and Mentorship

Hello friends! I hope you're having a good Tuesday; as far as Tuesdays go, mine was pretty good. I only had one class, which was very relaxed, then got coffee and ran some errands. I also met with my poetry professor for office hours this morning, which was an awesome way to start the day.

I initially came in to talk with her about a poem I wrote--the poem I posted a few weeks ago about catcalling--and how I could revise it for my final portfolio. After that, though, we talked for nearly an hour about feminism and creative writing. It was amazing. I rarely get the opportunity to talk with someone older and wiser than me about issues I care about so deeply. My professor is such a badass and such a gentle educator; she aims to inform, not patronize. We talked about the feminist presence on our campus (or, really, lack thereof), intersectionality, and the entitlement of the male gaze. She's just so smart and carries a library around in her brain, pulling from various reference se…

BEDA Day 20: Spring It On!

Happy Monday, friends! I hope you're having a good day thus far. My Monday started off on kind of a rushed note--I woke up literally 3 minutes before I had to leave for class, meaning I had to throw on the first socially acceptable outfit (aka a t-shirt and leggings) I could find and rush to my 8 AM science lecture. It was about as fun as it sounds...

Anyway, today I wanted to talk about how beautiful springtime is. This time of year is almost magical, with warm temperatures and sunny skies. It's hard to be in a bad mood during springtime, because it's just that nice out. Although spring comes with allergies, rain, and some humidity, there's so many ways to embrace the warm weather, as long as you pop a few Claritins before you walk out the door. So here's my fool-proof list for a successful spring. If you do all of these things, I guarantee you'll find there's a spring in your step. Pun so very much intended.

1) Walk somewhere you'd normally drive or t…

BEDA Days 18 and 19: Being a Real College Girl

Oops, I did it again. I forgot to blog yesterday. I promise it won't happen again, and we're gonna finish BEDA strong--forgive me for my negligence.

Here's the thing though: I didn't blog solely because I was out living the life of a Real College Girl. I hung out with friends and met new people and wore red lipstick...I was actually social for once! Crazy I know--it doesn't happen too often. A lot of that has to do with my job, which requires me to work on most weekends, and also because of my anxiety. I'm a little ball of nerves all the time, seemingly always fretting about something ultimately insignificant. It should come as no surprise, then, that going out and leaving the comfort zone of my room can sometimes be daunting. And I know a lot of you don't understand that; a lot of you are much more extroverted than I am and can't resist social interaction. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not antisocial and super weird, (well...that's up for …

BEDA Day 17: Girls Loving Girls

Hey guys! Happy Friday--currently cooped up in the dorm working tonight, as I will be pretty much every weekend until the end of the year. RA problems, ya feel me? It's all good though, because I'm effectively getting paid to wear leggings, no makeup, and stay in and watch Mad Men. Sometimes I secretly love my job for that exact reason: "oh shoot! Can't go out tonight--I'm on duty! I have to stay in! Yeah I totally sucks...*cough*"

But my elderly tendencies are not what I wanted to talk about this evening, believe it or not. Instead I wanted to talk about girl-on-girl love. Not that kind of girl-on-girl love, perv. I'm talking women supporting other women and how great that is. Women who pass out compliments to other women. Women who share shameless sex tips with other women. Women who don't let their friends get jerked around by fuckboys.

I was inspired to talk about this today because I was having such a good conversation with my home frie…

BEDA Day 16: Dumb

I had a really nice dinner with a friend and I bought new clothes and a cute purse and my hair looked great today.

Then my day got shitty and I got yelled at and then I got a speeding ticket.

No fun.

So close to midnight and so little motivation to write. So much motivation to lie in bed and cry.

This totally counts as a blog post, by the way.


BEDA Day 15: I Love Myself

I'm forever made fun of for my constant uttering of the phrase "I love myself." To be honest I don't at all mind, because I have a pretty thick skin and all the joking is in good fun, but I really just want to clear the air: it's not a bad thing to love yourself. It's not a joke to have good self esteem, and it's not problematic to take care of Number 1.

I love myself because I know how to do it the best--no one knows how to take care of me more than myself. No one knows when exactly I need to take medicine, or lie down, or read a good book, or be in the company of friends. Loved ones and those super intuitive might be able to make a good guess, but I'm the only person that's really at the frontline of my own needs. So then, why shouldn't I be constantly showing myself love and affection, especially when I need it most? Because I'm not trying to get depressing here, but at the end of the day, we only have ourselves. You come into the world…

BEDA Day 14: Note to Self

Feel free to read this post, but it's a letter to myself. Don't feel like you're being nosey if you proceed, but just know that I'm taking a second to be self-involved and revolve this blog around my own needs and the things I need to hear right now.

Hey Lauren--

You are enough.

Never apologize for taking up space.

Also don't apologize for protecting yourself.

You're not as terrible as you think you are.

There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first sometimes.

There's also nothing wrong with taking care of other people, even when you know they can't even begin to return the favor. Because here's a secret: not everyone is as aware and as eager to do good. That's okay; you can't blame people for being somebody you're not.

Don't change yourself so people will like you. The people who do like you wouldn't want you to fix a thing, and the people who have a laundry list of personality traits and physical attributes they would t…

BEDA Day 13: Compliment People

Happy Monday, guys! I hope your days were as stress-free as possible, though I know that's hard to hope for on a Monday. At the very least, I hope you had at least one good cup of coffee to help get you through it.

My Monday was pretty good all in all--kind of a long day though now that I'm thinking back on it. Do you ever do that? Do you ever think about everything you did in a single day and think to yourself, "wow...I seriously accomplished all of that in one day? The stuff I did this morning seems like it was forever ago." I went to four classes, filed a tax extension, did homework in Dunkin Donuts, read a book in the sunshine, worked out, got dinner with a friend, showered, blogged, and cleaned my room. Quite the productive Monday if you ask me. Can't promise I'll be super on my grind tomorrow. I just have one class and an afternoon cat nap scheduled, that's about it. Maybe a few episodes of Mad Men if I'm being really ambitious.

Switching gears:…

BEDA Day 12: An Ode to Endorphins

Happy Sunday, everyone. I hope you had good, relaxing days. My day started off right, brunching and shopping with some of my wonderful girlfriends, but I'm not gonna lie to you all: things took a turn. In the midst of cleaning, doing homework, and general productivity that seems to always fall on a Sunday, I got some unsettling family news. Now before you jump to conclusions, everything's fine. All my loved ones are in good health thankfully. Just some personal business that I'm really not emotionally ready to handle right now. And initially my plan was to cry myself to sleep with no food in my stomach, only to wake up cranky and puffy-eyed on Monday morning. But I didn't do that. I went to the gym.
That's why this post is titled "An Ode to Endorphins": because exercise is the best. Working out boosts your mood unlike anything else on this planet--I'm so thankful that I've become someone who actually craves cardio. I know how that sounds; I know I …

BEDA Day 11: Happy Saturdaze

Happy Saturday! I hope you all enjoyed the beautiful weather if that's the case where you are. It was an absolutely gorgeous day today, 75 and sunny with bright blue skies. And when it's nice outside in college, that means it's time to dress up like you're going to Coachella and drink in someone's front lawn.

Now I don't have anything against a day drink; I think there's nothing wrong with enjoying the sun and good company while you're wearing a flower crown and holding a red Solo cup. Just wasn't feelin it today, ya know? Some days you just want to enjoy nature in a way that's a little more low-key. Which is why I'm so thankful for my friend Ashley, aka my bestest friend and former roommate.

As I was contemplating how to spend my Saturday, she texted me asking if I wanted to go adventuring. And for a second I thought she was kidding, but turns out she was 100% serious. So we did. I picked her up at her apartment immediately and we got on th…

BEDA Day 10: Good Things Friday

Happy Friday, friends! Coming at you live from the RA office, where I'm currently sitting duty. I'm here until 2 AM, serving this community and keeping it safe. Yadda yadda yadda. Long story short: I'm babysitting freshmen. So to combat that, today I wanted to just spew out some happiness at your computer screen, because it's been a pretty solid week. And plus, it's good to focus on the positives, especially when things get overwhelming.

So, good things:

1) I got an 80% on my geology exam today! I could've sworn I did much worse than that, but apparently I know a thing or two about rocks and shit.

2) I got two books in the mail from Amazon today! New books are fun; I haven't been reading lately (so needless to say that New Years Resolution is going...great...)

3) I got back in the gym after taking a week off from working out, solely because I was lazy. Well, and also because I got super sick. Speaking of...

4) I'm not super sick anymore! After ten days …

BEDA Day 9: Tattoos and Why I Have Them

Hello, friends. How's it going? I hope your Thursday is going well--honestly mine has gone by so quickly, which is surprising considering all I've done is sit indoors and study for geology. Or at least attempt to study for geology. I dunno, guys; I think I've forgotten how to study, it's quite a problem. Send positive vibes tomorrow morning at 10:10 when I'm struggling through 40 multiple choice questions about volcanoes, earthquakes, mountain building, geologic time, and the interior of the earth. Emphasis on the struggling. But as usual, I don't want to talk about schoolwork today. I'm so bored by schoolwork; I want to talk about tattoos.

Because the majority of my readership is comprised of people I know in real life, most of you might know that I have two tattoos. I have the word "fearless" tattooed on my wrist and the coordinates of my grandparents' home tattooed on my rib cage. I got the wrist tattoo done in January 2014 and the ribcage …

BEDA Day 8: Poetry, According to Me

Hey, guys! I hope you're doing well. This week has been a little bit overwhelming, but I'm hanging in there. I have a big exam in one of my science classes on Friday, and for some reason nothing makes the week go by quicker than a big exam on the horizon. The good news, at least, is that means it's almost the weekend. But enough about that; school and tests and academics are generally boring topics.

What I wanted to talk about today is poetry, in honor of April being National Poetry Month. I have a very unique relationship with poetry that I want to explore. Basically, I wouldn't consider myself a poet. Or at least not a good one. Poetry doesn't come easily to me, both reading and writing it. And that's fine, because I don't expect myself to naturally excel at every type of writing I undertake, but for some reason, poetry has plagued me for the longest time. Not being naturally inclined toward stanza and meter and endstops sure has a way of making me feel i…

BEDA Day 7: In Need of a New Job

I am in dire need of a new summer job. Not to complain, because having a job you dread is better than having no job at all, but it’s April and here I am, already dreading. I need a new summer job that welcomes only adults. I need a new summer job that is as challenging as it is rewarding, not challenging with lack of reward. I need a new job because I’m a camp counselor. June through August, Monday through Friday, nine in the morning through four in the afternoon I’m herding kids around. From the art classroom to the bathroom to wash their hands before snack. From the bathroom to the picnic benches outdoors to eat. From the picnic benches to the art classroom once they’ve each eaten a bag of chips or a piece of fruit. Inevitably back to the bathroom ten minutes later because at least one kid will have to miraculously use the toilet again. Bathroom to art classroom. Art classroom to gym. Gym to kickball field. Kickball field to bathroom. Bathroom to picnic tables. Picnic tables to locke…

BEDA Day 6: Spring Playlist

Hello friends! I hope this Monday finds you well. It was a beautiful sunny day here in Harrisonburg, meaning wearing a maxi dress and flip-flops even though I still felt like I was run over by a truck. The good news is I'm definitely on the mend, but I've still been sniffly all day. Trying to combat that by drinking lots of water and taking my medicine. I'm also about to run to the gym to try and psych myself into being healthy; hopefully some cardio will make this cold run for the hills. After that, I think I'll have a hot shower and ten hours of sleep. If I'm not better by tomorrow after all that, I officially quit. I'll officially resign myself to the Common Cold Overlords.

Back to that beautiful weather, though: because it's so beautiful outside, I thought I'd share with you my go-to playlist for this time of year. Something about warm weather brings about feel-good music. Be forewarned that a lot of this is either country or super sugary pop music.…

BEDA Days 4 and 5: Sick

Hey, guys! So yesterday I just completely dropped the ball. No other excuse for it--I straight up forgot to blog. I've been sick all weekend, sleeping on and off and taking medicine, so in my NyQuil haze I managed to fall asleep without posting. To be fair, I'm sure very few of you noticed, but there's my apology nonetheless.

Today's Easter, and even though I'm not super religious, it doesn't feel like Easter at all. A lot of that has to do with me being sick, accompanied by both of my parents, who have been struck with the same wicked cold as I have. That meant no visiting extended family, no wearing a pretty sundress, no Easter ham for dinner. Instead, I stayed in my Target robe and ate a lot of soup. I think Jesus who understand, though.

Other than being sick, I did have a pretty good weekend all in all. On Friday night myself, plus my friends from home, visited our other friend who goes to school about two hours away. The road trip was fun, as was the chang…

BEDA Day 3: Forgive Me

Happy day 3 of BEDA! I'm the worst, but it's a Friday night and I'm being social. Kind of. Idk. Real post tomorrow.
Love you, mean it.

BEDA Day 2: Science or Something

Wouldn't it be hilarious if I forgot to blog on the second day of BEDA? If right out of the gate I completely dropped the ball? By hilarious I mean pathetic and embarrassing. But I didn't forget! I remembered in just the knick of time--let's BEDA it up.

So right now I'm blogging in the midst of studying for this science exam I have tomorrow, and to be honest, I couldn't care less about anything I'm learning. Granted, I'm doing a lot of "listening to Fifth Harmony" and not a lot of "strictly devoting myself to my notes," but that's neither here nor there. I'm trying my best to focus on electromagnetic fields and parallel circuits and thermal energy, but I just don't care. And if you ask me, apathy makes studying nearly impossible. If I'm even remotely interested in what I'm learning about or if the class somehow benefits me later on, I can go over study guides like nobody's business. But science? I'm both intim…

BEDA Day 1: On Forgiveness

Happy April, and more importantly, Happy BEDA! We're gonna hang out for an entire month, guys, and I couldn't be more excited. It's gonna get warmer outside, we're gonna bust out our sundresses, and we're gonna hang out every. single. day. Who's pumped?!

To kick off BEDA, though, I kind of want to tackle a more melancholy topic; I've had something on my mind for a few days that I want to share. Don't expect this post to be super well-written or well thought out, but rather prepare yourself for a little bit of word vomit.

Inevitable Mean Girls reference out of the way, here's what I want to talk about: apologies and forgiveness. Specifically, how to forgive someone when they apologize for something they've done. I'm a big believer in the power of apology; I think a heartfelt "I'm sorry" can heal a lot of wounds. That's the key though: heartfelt. Genuine. None of this "I'm only saying sorry so you'll get off my b…