Blogmas Day 21: I want to DO things and GO places

Hello, everyone! I'm coming at you this afternoon from quite a different location: I'm currently sitting in the lobby of my local Jewish Community Center, hanging out in the lobby while I wait for my mom to finish up work. To preface, though my mom isn't Jewish, she rents out space in their gym, where she owns a series of Jazzercise classes. She also does personal training here a few days a week, with a rotating group of clients. Basically, this is just phase one in her fitness empire. So I've been dragged here today with the promise of going to Trader Joes and Ulta once she's done with her training session. I know the only reason I was even able to have a break is because I took a brief leave of absence from Ulta, but I have points expiring and my employee discount to use. Basically, even when I'm not working, Ulta still owns my ass.

So what else is new? You know that I came home last night around ten o'clock, immediately following my last shift for two weeks. I got off the clock at 8 pm sharp, and I was in my driver's seat at 8:06. It would've been sooner, too, if I was able to find a parking spot closer to the mall. So now things are good; I'm happy to be home and have just about two and a half weeks to just chill. But I'm realizing now that I'm not quite sure how to chill for days and weeks on end, so maybe this break will get real boring real fast.

Ever since I took on a really busy load of work this semester, I don't find myself with a whole lot of spare time, so I've kind of forgotten what to do with myself when I get more than one day off. I'm at the point where "just chillin'" is becoming a foreign concept. While I can totally just stay in one night or just lounge around for a day or two, beyond that I start to lose focus and can't figure out what to do with myself. I want to do things and go places. Plans with family and friends, as far as I'm concerned, should be activity-oriented. The thought of just "hanging out" is strange to me now. Like? What are we gonna do? You just expect me to stop what I'm doing and just relax? Do you know me at all?

And it doesn't even have to be a crazy, blow-out event. In fact, I'd prefer if it wasn't. It can be as simple as going to grab lunch or going to a movie or going to Target to look around. It doesn't take much to entertain me, but I'm at the point in my life where I have to be doing something.

It's gotten to the point now that if I don't have any plans with anyone else, I'll make up errands just so I can pretend to be busy. I'd rather go to Target to go look at underwear than just sit on the couch and flick through channels. I'd rather drop off my mom's dry cleaning and grab coffee than lie in bed until noon. I wish it wasn't this way, because I find that this little habit of mine is a money and time-suck. Because if I go out to "look" at things, I'll usually end up buying something, and then I'll convince myself that I need coffee, which will lead me to believe that I'm also hungry, which will remind me that I want a new outfit to wear out to dinner with my friends in a few days. See what I mean? I wish I was still eighteen and lazy, then all my problems would be solved.

I joke, of course, because even if it's a bit illogical, I love being busy. I love making lists and plans and due dates for myself. It might not be entirely necessary most of the time, but it's just what I have to do. That said, I need to start making a list of excessive errands and events for these 20-ish days home. Otherwise, I might go a little stir-crazy.


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