Sunday, December 6, 2015

Blogmas Day 6: I'm enjoying my day off by being a lazy piece of garbage

Let's acknowledge the fact that Blogmas hasn't been off to a rousing start. It hasn't even been one week and I've already forgotten to post one day, and the rest of the posts have been way, way on the shorter side. I'm very torn between beating myself up over it and needing a reality check; of all things to get down on myself for, this is hardly that big of a deal. Not that I don't take this blog seriously and enjoy having it as a creative outlet, but I'm having the suspicion that I've being way too critical and self-loathing. Regardless, I am really trying to take these posts more seriously and take more time out of my day to produce something I think someone else might be interested in reading. I can't promise everything I jot down is going to be life-changing and fascinating, but I can at least try my best. What I'm saying here is I'm committing to only being mildly terrible. If that isn't a great personal brand I don't know what is.

Okay, in all seriousness, what have I been up to lately? Well, I worked a day shift on Saturday at Ulta, which meant being glued to the cash register for seven hours. Normally working is totally fine and my shift goes by relatively quickly, but something about that shift made me so exhausted and on-edge. Toward the end of it, when I was silently begging the little clock in the corner of the register's computer screen to move faster, I wasn't even making an effort to suppress my yawns while interacting with guests. Not my best customer service game face by any means.

After that I came home and crawled into bed immediately, not even taking the time to change out of my all-black uniform and my full face of makeup. I remained in my little cocoon for a few hours as my roommates got ready to go out for the night. I opted to stay in, in favor of being comfortable and recuperating for the week ahead. I went over to my friend Justin's apartment, one of my favorite humans who just so happens to be a year behind me at school. Having him here is really great, since he's the only person in my life knows what things are like at school and at home. I can talk to him about literally anything, whether that's hometown friends, my parents, classes...you get it. He's the best. We just lounged around and talked for a few hours until fatigue got the better of us. He then drove me home, where I was able to rest my eyes for a few minutes before performing DD duties for one of my roommates. Don't think I'm saying that with any disdain, though; I really don't mind at all, and I know she'd do the same for me if I needed her. Nonetheless, when I was finally able to fall asleep for good, I slept soundly until 11:30 this morning. I don't even feel guilty about it; these days I very rarely have a day off, so if I ever have an opportunity to forgo my alarm clock, you better believe I take it.

After waking up just before noon, I stayed bundled up under the covers until 1 PM (I know, I know, that's not great) while every other college student I know was being productive. Once the guilt finally permeated my thoughts, I got out of bed and changed my clothes (aka changed into a different set of yoga pants and put on a sports bra)  and tended to a few things on my to-do list. Then I called my mom. Then my grandpa, for his birthday today (Happy birthday, Pepere!) By the time I got off the phone with both of them, it had somehow become 3:30. At that point, I did boring soccer mom type things, which was comprised of Christmas shopping at Old Navy, going to the bank, and then the grocery store. I'm telling you guys, I'm not an interesting human in the slightest. I don't even know why I'm recounting my day in such vivid detail.

So now here we are: since getting back from running those menial errands, I tricked myself into thinking I deserved a break (as if those tasks were really tiresome). Now it's 7:30 and I've barely done any school work. I have presentations and final exams coming up this week, but I haven't been struck with an inescapable panic yet. Once that sets in, I'll start doing work. Not a minute sooner. For now I'm enjoying my day off by being a lazy piece of garbage. The last time I truly had a day off was...shit, I don't even know. Maybe early November? I wouldn't have it any other way, and being busy is what keeps me afloat and gives me purpose, but I would be lying if I said I didn't have the urge to hibernate right about now. Instead the plan for the rest of the evening is to do reading for my Women and Gender Studies class and edit the piece I'm reading at a venue downtown this week (more on that later).

I hope this lengthier post has started to make up for lost time since the start of Blogmas. This happens every time I commit to some sort of marathon blogging event (a la BEDA, if you remember that ordeal). I have to sort of...coax my engine into running. That reminds me I was supposed to get my car looked at today. Shit. Well, I guess I'll add that to the never-ending to-do list that lives on a notepad on my desk. Right now it's covered up by textbooks and first drafts of pieces that need to be edited for various portfolios. If that's not a visual representation of my current state of being, I'm not sure what is.

We'll talk tomorrow, friends!!

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