Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Blogmas Day 14: Peeved

Y'know what, guys? I'm peeved. Annoyed, disgruntled, pissed, angry...whatever you want to call it. Personally I like "peeved." And I'll tell you why I'm peeved. I have an exam tomorrow that I am 0% prepared for, but it's not for lack of trying. It's one of those exams where you're just tested on memorized information (in this instance, laws and court cases), so you just gotta sit down and drill yourself for hours. I've been in this local coffee shop for almost two hours, attempting to drill away, and nothing. Because while normally studying in a little coffee shop or cafe works out well, with just the perfect amount of stimulation, everything that could be going wrong is.

First of all, there's no wifi. It's amazing how distracting that is. Because even though I have all my notes written on paper, knowing I can't look up a vocab term or access Quizlet is infuriating. I've spent most of my time troubleshooting the issue, jealous of the people around me using their access to surf Facebook. Look, I'm not saying I need to use the internet for more important reasons, but let's be real: I need to use the internet for more important reasons. It's not fair. You might be wondering how I'm even posting this if there's no wifi, and to that I say: personal hotspot. To that I also say: sorry, Mom. I'll pay for the data overage; I'm desperate here.

Then there's the people. Ugh, the people. Shuffling in and out with their loud conversations and their laughter and their annoying, annoying, annoying habits at decibels far above what is appropriate for a coffee shop at four in the afternoon. When I walked in, it was just other people in front of their laptops working or studying silently, but since then citizens who are more than welcome to participate in this free market and the consumption of goods have the right to come in here?! I mean, what's that about? Coming into a coffee shop with your friend and ordering coffee, then having the audacity to sit and have a pleasant conversation, right in my ear? I can't believe the nerve of some people these days. And if it's not bad enough, the people who are coming in here are having first dates and Bible study. How dare they attempt to make romantic connections or find solace with Jesus while I'm over here trying to learn about the sixth amendment?

And then there's the music. The music. I come into this hipster indie coffeeshop to drink my $4.50 latte, not to listen to hipster indie music. And at this volume. Okay, you can barely hear it, but I still can't deal with it. Listening to the repetitive, whiny hum of "Skinny Love" is bad enough when it's at a volume louder than mute, must we really turn it up any more than that? Or at least change the words to "And I TOLD you to be silent, and I TOLD you to be mute" as a form of subliminal messaging for these people exchanging pleasantries? I mean for fuck's sake, it's finals week.

Now on top of all of that, if you couldn't already tell by the irrational, ranty (largely satirical) nature of today's post, I'm PMS-ing. It's like my body thought to itself "When would it be the worst possible time to make Lauren crave sugar, break out on her chin, bloat, and cry at the drop of a hat? Oh, when she has a huge exam? Okay let's do it then. That'll be fun!" So here I am: PMS-ing like a monster in the middle of this cute, pleasant coffeeshop, ready to ragequit Blogspot at any given moment. It seems like a bit of cosmic irony that there's a framed poster hanging on the wall next to me that reads "Work Hard and Be Nice to People," because while that's a wonderful sentiment, at the present moment I can't think of two things I'm less capable of doing. Plus, one of the girls participating in this Bible study to my left just said, "I mean, even if you're a feminist, you have to admit that women, by nature, are just more submissive!" So I think now would be a good time to change my study venue. Or bang my head into a wall. Either or.

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