Friday, December 2, 2016

Blogmas Day 2: Reacting to Awful Gift Ideas


Good evening, everyone! I hope your Fridays were manageable and your weekend looks promising. I'm writing by the light of my bedside table lamp and rubbing sleep from my eyes after a nap my body apparently needed, wondering what weird rabbit hole I'm going to burrow down into as this post progresses.

In a futile attempt to come up an idea for today's post, I came across a list written by The Wild Hideaway advertising 100 Ideas for Blogmas. And while that list is great and I'm sure took a lot of time to write, nothing jumps out at me. For my own purposes, Blogmas isn't the place to write about the holidays every single day, not even close. I could give you gift ideas for the women in your life or tell you how to make an at-home peppermint mocha, but that doesn't feel right with me for some reason. Mostly because I'm not a lifestyle guru and don't even know the first thing about curating a gift guide. I think I'm pretty okay at giving thoughtful and personal gifts to my loved ones, but I can't tell all of you what to get for your grandma, because I don't know her. What do I know about, though? Demolishing others' hard work with my negativity and judgment. Which is why today I'll be reviewing some of the more...questionable...items on popular online stores and lifestyle sites.

Destination #1: Nordstrom

Nordstrom is a popular destination for many shoppers, which is why I'm actually very impressed by their comprehensive gift ideas this year. They've broken it down into different price points and by type of recipient, which is handy. What's not handy, however, is the suggestion that you should buy your boss a $40 picture frame. Nordstrom, I know you cater to a more affluent clientele, but who in their right mind has time for that? But let's look at some more specifics.

1) This $70 pool float
Maybe it's because Taylor Swift posted a photo of herself on one of these earlier on this year, but for some reason 2016 has been the year of the Fancy Ironic Pool Float. But the fact of the matter is it's wintertime most places and this is just a really weird way to spend seventy dollars. Plus, who is this for? Your one friend who likes pools but hates actually swimming who apparently has no other interests? That's the only time I could possibly consider gifting this to someone, and even then I'd go to WalMart and get them an inner-tube.


2) This box of fancy candy

Just what you need for the child in your life that you don't really connect with, but has a parent that would look down on you if you spent less than $25 on them.
 3) This hoodie for that guy in your life that will probably develop body dysmorphia after just one use!

Do you have a friend who has been on a health and fitness journey this year, but just hasn't quite reached their goals? Do you hate that friend? Buy them this hoodie. I'm sure it won't create any weird tension at all!





















4) This awful mug

To give to that millennial who you think is awful and entitled for owning a cell phone!

5) This high-maintenance wine making kit
You know what they say: if you like drinking something, tediously spend hours making a lackluster version of it!

Destination #2: Amazon

Huge with those who treat every day like it's Cyber Monday. Especially with Prime's free 2-day shipping, there's a goldmine of presents to choose from, but that doesn't mean everything's a winner. For example...

1) This Scandinavian eyeless plushie 
For that person you have gnome idea what to get.

2) The most extra pencil holder on the planet

This holiday season, I just really want a way to not only hold my pencils, but a creepy way to hold the cup that's holding them.
 3) Pinecones?
I got you this set of $40 cardboard pinecones because I love you.
Destination #3: Buzzfeed

This is the only site I chose that isn't actually selling you items, but rather scouring the internet for perfect gifts to purchase elsewhere. The nice thing is they do include links and price information. And for the most part, 90% of their ideas are winners, but there also might be something in the water at Buzzfeed HQ, because who is coming up with some of these?

1) The perfect gift for your friend who wants to "put herself out there more"

I couldn't help but notice you're super negative and insufferable to be around, so I got you this doormat.
2) The cupboard catastrophe

If your friend tells you that they really like Sriracha, that isn't a code to spend $156 per year on hot sauce and spices that won't get used and will crowd up anyone's pantry. Maybe one of these boxes is a cool gift on its own, but this is one of those subscription companies that's only awesome in theory.

And there you have it. I can't tell you what to buy, but I can tell you a few things to steer clear from. I know a lot of these gifts are handmade or sold by a small business owner, and by no means am I trying to deteriorate the value of their work. Maybe poking a little fun at, but only in the spirit of the holidays.

I'll see you guys tomorrow,
Lauren

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