Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Blogmas Day 7: Overindulgent

Hi, guys! I can't believe it's 10:30; I guess it's that part of Blogmas where posts just start going up later and later in the day. In a few days I'm sure I'll be rushing to hit that publish button by midnight.

Part of that has to do with what I want to talk about today, which is the idea of being overindulgent. I feel like as of late, I've been "treating myself" way too much, and not in a good way. I'm all for self-care and doing what I need to do to keep my mind and body healthy, but that's not what I'm doing here. I'm allowing myself "one more episode" when I should be sleeping, "one more" cup of coffee when I've already had three, "one more" swipe of my debit card when I know my account balance is hurting a little. I give myself naps and fast food and second (then third and fourth) chances to get it together.

It's a relatively new phenomenon, because I'm usually super hard on myself, but lately I've just been allowing myself all the simple pleasures in life. Part of me thinks that's not necessarily a bad thing every once in a while, but a larger voice in my head is bellowing "Cut it out!" Maybe it has something to do with the weather or the stress I'm under this time of year, but maybe that's just another excuse I'm handing myself.

A great, also terrible, example of this happened tonight at dinner. I woke from a nap I didn't mean to take (surprise, surprise) and realized I was starving. By that time, it was 8:30, and with a messy kitchen and only pasta in my pantry, I knew cooking wasn't happening tonight. What I should've done was drive around the corner to the Food Lion and buy a ready-made meal, like a salad or a microwave dinner. That would save money and wouldn't leave me moaning and groaning after the fact. But of course, wanting to "treat myself to something special," I decided instead to drive to McDonald's. To be completely honest, I don't visit the golden arches too often. The last time I ate McDonald's was two months ago when a friend and I walked a mile there from a party that wasn't holding our attention. But I digress: point is, McDonald's and I don't hang out too often, but tonight was a rare exception.

Ordering a chicken mcnugget meal (and, frankly, not caring about what actually goes into the process of making them, because they taste good either way) with fries, I waited in the four-car line, smiling like an idiot when I received my greasy paper bag. I blindly snuck a few fries on the drive home, not yet totally tucking in to eat. By the time I got back to my apartment and starting pulling my food out, I realized the worker had made a mistake. I ordered one order of chicken nuggets and one medium fry. He gave me a box of twenty nuggets and two orders of fries. I couldn't decide if I had been kissed by an angel or screwed over by the devil.

In my mind, I couldn't possibly waste the food I was graciously given, but on the flip side, what human being can put away that much garbage and live to see another day? The overindulgent side of me was saying "eat it all; leave no evidence," but the rational part of me said "just eat what you ordered and chalk it up to an accident." Thankfully Rational Lauren won. The food waste part of the equation of course wasn't the most rational thing to do, but I think in this instance it was okay to throw away the scraps of fast food. This doesn't mean I've cured my overindulgence, but it means I at least have some standards.

But the good news is, Blogmas is also helping with that! I feel like even if I was shouting into the void and no one was reading this, it'd still be helpful to have this routine. Thankfully, though, there are people out there waiting for these daily updates, and to you I owe so much. Thanks for keeping me accountable and being there when I want nothing more but to let myself crawl into bed early or procrastinate with a late-night drive thru run.

See you tomorrow,
Lauren

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